2011-12-25T23:47:00.000-08:00

Let’s start with Lies.

We can relate. We all tell them.

But not the little ones. You know, the ones you tell yourboss, friends and family – not the butt-covering, feelings-sparing,I-have-to-be-polite ones. No, this is all about the whoppers – “the-how-the-hell-did-you-make-your-mouth-say-that”lies.

And we all know at least one great liar.

Yeah, that one, the person who has only a passingacquaintance with the truth, who can sit you down and spin a yarn that willlast for hours and you never know where or how it’s going to end up. That kindof liar is a teacher if you pay attention, because he is a crafter of talltales.

The tales TALLER than tall.

Probably one of the most recognized of the tall tale artistsis Mr. Samuel Clemens. Some of the most beloved stories from the master ofunderstated truth revolve around the outlandish actions of his characters –that frog that could leap farther, faster and higher than any of its kin orkindred ever could; the whitewashing of a now famous fence; and the poor, poorpeople of Hadleyburg.

Mr. Clemens thought quite a bit on the virtues of lying, andwrote an essay in which he details the problems society is bound to encounterwhen said activity is performed poorly. Do take a moment of your precious timeto consider On the Decay of the Art of Lying.

Now, if you read the essay, I’msure you’ll finish the rest of this article a more enlightened reader. If not, here’s hoping you appreciate it all the same.

Lying for the sake of entertainment is a much appreciatedactivity in the South.

On the front porch on any warm summer’s evening, I couldfind my father with several of his friends engaged in storytelling. To be moreprecise, they were knee deep in a fierce competition, the winner of which wouldhave told the most entertaining story, also known as the most outlandish lie.Sometimes these lies took a turn and resulted in one of the funniest jokes I’dever heard. (Please forgive me for my transgressions. As a kid, I was not allowedanywhere near, but a handy hole in the wall near the gathering usually gave mea great spot to listen in.) Always, they left my young mind satisfied that thefar fetched and the fantastic was much more fun to have about than the mundaneand overstated commonplace.

The stories ranged from the ever popular fish tale to theinfamous ghost story. I even remember one which was a combination of the two,something to do with the spirit of a great catfish that frequently cut thelines of poor fishermen when they endeavored to keep the scrawny fishies thatshould never have been caught in the first place. That one involved some“Jaws”-like behaviors on the part of the noble catfish, and some serious rowingand walking on the lake by the embattled fisherman. Alas, I was busted thatnight, caught in the act, because I couldn’t keep my giggles under control.

At any rate, a good tall tale is worth the hearing, reading,or writing – when done well. Just remember, to create a good lie, I mean talltale, you should:

1. Start with an ordinary event, something everyone in youraudience can relate to.

2. The beginning should be credible. When possible, startwith the truth.

3. Introduce your exaggerated element casually as if it isno more unusual than anything you’ve already said. Thus, the reason forstarting with the truth. You want the less this part to sneak up on them. Don’tstretch your veracity too soon.

4. Ground your lie in fact. Put the fish in a lake that theyknow, the ghost in the hardware store in the next down – a location that’s closeby, but not one they’re apt to visit the next day. Mark Twain said, “Do nottell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell themwhere they know the fish.”

5. And finally, deliver your story with sincerity, by mouthor on paper. If you treat your story as if it’s a lie, you’ll never sell it asanything else. It’s OK that your listener or reader knows it’s a lie, just don’tlet them feel it.

If the lie doesn’t entertain, you might as well leave it athome.

Fairy Tales, Legends & Lies